social icons



Personal journal.

more from the blog

Goodbye Grandma

(this post sat in the draft for a week now)

It's been so long ever since i updated this blog. Too many distractions, too many exams, and too many "im too tired for this".

But when things like that happened, this blog is the only gateway for me to release all the words in my head.

My late auntie left us in a sudden. None of us was prepared. However, it's a different case with my grandma.

All of us knew that she might leave us at any time, but when she really did, those preparation just wasn't enough.

It was just like any other day. Boring lessons and finally my lovely recess. I was just on my way back to class after my recess, then my brother called. It was so noisy, i wished i didn't hear what he said.

"Grandma passed away. Hurry back home after your school end."
I was in disbelief but ironically expected something to come since my brother don't usually call me at that timing. Well, i did thought of the scenario where I'm in school and receiving news about my grandma leaving, but i didn't know it would be that fast.

7 days of the Buddhist funeral. Things were busy. Just busy enough for us to get distracted from the pain of losing our beloved. It was as if everyone pretended that nothing happened, yet just by one glance, you can see their eyes filled with sorrows (though i cannot tell from some of them). We tried our best not to cry since we were told not to, but all of us could barely take it on the last day.

It was on the last day, when we were at the viewing room waiting for the coffin to enter the room where the cremation happens. My aunties were crying uncontrollably, one of my cousin shouted so loudly that kids behind us were crying, i was in a crying mess, everyone was in a crying mess.

My second aunt cried so badly that she wasn't even able to stand. Then i realized, if its already this hard for us grandchildrens to control our emotions, how much pain are they going through now that they lost their mother? I know my mom. She is emotional and she can take up to very long to just let go of something. She couldn't let go of my late aunt, yet she had to deal with the lost of my grandma.

"I hope you are with grandpa and aunt now. Happy, healthy, and pain-free. I miss you grandma. Thank you for giving birth to my mom and taking care of her. Sorry for not being a well behave granddaughter. I love you."

Until next time.



Profile Photo

About Luna

Profile Bio

Hi, I'm Luna and this is my online journal.

Welcome to my virtual diary where I talk about the latest things I love and hate, my whatnot on my life, and my madness.